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The Royal Tailor
Designing fashionable yet practical outfits for the monarch
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The king wanted a royal robe that could transform into a parachute in case of emergency. I told him, "Your Majesty, I'm a tailor, not an inventor. If you jump out of a tower, all I can guarantee is that you'll look fabulous on the way down.
The Royal Caterer
Dealing with the king's food preferences
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Being the royal caterer is tough. The other day, the king said, "I want a meal fit for a monarch!" So, I handed him a Burger King crown and said, "Here you go, Your Highness – the royal meal deal.
The Royal Guard
Trying to stay serious while dealing with ridiculous royal requests
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The king insisted on having a royal guard yoga session. Picture this: armored warriors trying to do the downward dog. I swear, my armor has never been more uncomfortable. It's like medieval CrossFit, but with more grunting and less flexibility.
The Court Jester
Trying to make the king laugh in times of stress
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The king asked for a joke about taxes. I said, "Why did the monarch go to the accountant? To find his crown assets!" He didn't laugh. Tough crowd. I guess taxes are universally not funny.
The Royal Advisor
Navigating through the king's questionable decision-making
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The king wanted advice on his public image. I said, "Your Majesty, maybe don't wear a cape made entirely of glitter." He responded, "But I want people to see me shining!" I guess he takes the term "monarch" quite literally.
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