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Joke Types
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Why did the mom computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.
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Why did the mom plant go to therapy? It had too many deep-rooted issues.
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Why did the mom smartphone ground its teenager? Too many apps-titude problems!
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Why did the mom broom ask for a vacation? It was tired of sweeping around the clock!
Mom's Infinite Wisdom
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My mom is like a walking, talking encyclopedia of advice. She said, Motherhood is a sacred journey, and I'm thinking, Is it also a journey where you lose sleep, sanity, and any chance of having a clean house? Because sign me up for the less sacred journeys, Mom.
Mom's Fashion Police
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My mom thinks she's the Fashion Police Commissioner. She once said, You're going out like that? I replied, Yes, Mom, the 'just rolled out of bed chic' is totally in right now. She just shook her head and muttered something about the decline of civilization.
The Mom Dictionary
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Moms have this secret language—they say one thing, but it means something completely different. My mom goes, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Translation: You might as well start drafting your apology speech now because the disappointment is real, my friend.
Mom's Driving Wisdom
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Driving with Mom is a real adventure. She insists, I've been driving for decades. Yeah, Mom, but those decades don't include the invention of turn signals. Her driving philosophy is simple: If they don't see you, they don't need to know you're turning. It's like playing a game of automotive hide-and-seek.
Mom's Psychic Abilities
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Moms have this uncanny ability to predict the future. Mine goes, I have a feeling about this. Spoiler alert: Her feelings are always right. It's like living with a low-budget psychic who specializes in predicting when you're going to forget to take out the trash.
Mom vs. Google
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My mom is convinced that she's the ultimate source of knowledge. She says, Back in my day, we didn't have Google. We had moms. I'm like, Yeah, Mom, but Google doesn't guilt-trip me for not calling enough or ask why I'm not married yet. Plus, Google doesn't follow up a search with, 'By the way, have you been eating well?'
Mom's Cooking Adventures
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My mom's cooking is like a culinary rollercoaster. She proudly declares, I don't need a recipe; I cook from the heart. I tried her heart-cooked spaghetti once—it was so al dente, I think it was still dating the tomato sauce.
Mom's DIY Fix-It Tips
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My mom is the queen of DIY fixes. She goes, Why call a repairman when you have me? I called her when my sink was leaking, and she said, Just put a bucket under it. Brilliant, Mom. I'm pretty sure that's not what the plumber meant by a temporary fix.
Motherly Wisdom
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You know, my mom is like the Oracle from 'The Matrix'—she imparts these profound pearls of wisdom. The other day she said, Mother knows best, and I thought, Well, Mom, that's quite the philosophical mic drop. Does 'mother knows best' also apply when you're giving cooking instructions over the phone and can't see what's burning?
Mom's Tech Support
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Moms and technology—now that's a sitcom waiting to happen. My mom told me, I've mastered emojis. I said, Great, Mom. But when you send me a thumbs up emoji for a breakup text, it's a bit unsettling. I expected at least a sad face or a sympathy cake recipe.
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