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You ever try to pour molasses? It's like the slowest liquid on the planet. I tried making pancakes the other day, and by the time the molasses made it to the plate, I had already aged a year.
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Molasses is like the grandparent of syrup. It's been around forever, and every time you use it, you feel a connection to breakfasts from the past – the Jurassic period of breakfast, if you will.
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Molasses is proof that patience is a virtue – or, in my case, a necessity if I want pancakes. It's the only condiment that comes with its own yoga routine – pour, wait, breathe, repeat.
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I accidentally spilled molasses on my phone, and now it's slower than a sloth with a hangover. Siri now takes coffee breaks between responses.
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I was in the store, and there were two types of molasses – regular and slow-motion molasses. I went for the slow-motion one because I thought, "Why rush the sweet stuff, right?
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Molasses is the original Netflix of condiments – it takes forever to load, but once it's there, you savor every moment. "Coming soon to your breakfast plate: The Molasses Show!
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Molasses is like the traffic jam of condiments. You're standing there with your toast, and molasses is like, "Sorry, we're currently experiencing a delay. Please be patient while we move at a glacial pace.
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I tried to sweet talk someone the other day, but it went as smoothly as pouring molasses uphill. Note to self: molasses doesn't enhance your charm.
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I tried to impress my date by cooking a fancy dinner with molasses glaze. Little did I know, molasses doesn't just stick to food; it sticks to your reputation as a chef too.
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