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The Molasses Drinker
Enjoying a drink, but the beverage flows slower than molasses.
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I asked the bartender for a quick shot, and he handed me a glass with molasses. I said, "Is this a shot or a marathon? Because I don't have the time to sip this like it's fine wine!
The Pancake Flipper
Flipping pancakes, but the batter is as slow as molasses.
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I'm convinced the first person who invented pancakes with molasses was probably a time traveler who got stuck in the past, and that was their solution for passing the time.
The Molasses Juggler
Juggling objects, but they move through the air like molasses.
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I tried teaching my dog to catch a frisbee covered in molasses. Now, instead of a quick game of fetch, it's like watching a nature documentary in real-time. The slow-motion frisbee chase, narrated by Sir David Attenborough.
The Slow Walker
The frustration of getting stuck behind someone moving as slow as molasses.
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I asked the slow walker if they were in a marathon. They said, "No, I'm just training for the Molasses Olympics – trying to break the record for the slowest lap.
The Molasses Marathon Runner
Trying to run a marathon but feeling like you're running through molasses.
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They say running a marathon is a mental challenge. Yeah, the mental challenge of convincing yourself that the finish line isn't a mirage created by your dehydrated brain stuck in molasses mode.
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