8 Medical Office Jokes

One Liners

Updated on: Aug 08 2025

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I told my doctor I broke my finger in five places. They told me to stop going to those places!
I told my doctor I'm addicted to break fluid. They said, 'You can stop anytime!
I asked my doctor if they could prescribe something for my color blindness. They said, 'Sure, the pill's green!
I told my doctor I'm addicted to Twitter. They said, 'Sorry, I don't follow you!
I asked my doctor for a painkiller that wouldn't affect my ability to work. They gave me a 'placebo' that doesn't do anything - works perfectly!
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He said, 'Well, don't go to those places!
My dentist told me I needed a crown. I said, 'Sure, I'll bring my tiara!
I asked my doctor if I could administer my own anesthesia. They said, 'Sure, knock yourself out!

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