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The chairs in a medical office waiting room must be designed by a secret society of chiropractors. They're like, "Let's make these chairs as uncomfortable as possible, just to keep things interesting. Who needs a functioning spine anyway?
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The doctor always seems to enter the room right when you're trying to perform your most awkward yoga pose – half naked, struggling with the paper gown, and desperately attempting not to expose yourself. It's like a game of medical office Twister no one signed up for.
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You ever notice how the waiting room music in a medical office is a mix between elevator tunes and what I can only describe as the soundtrack to a dramatic soap opera? It's like they're trying to keep us on the edge of our seats, literally.
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You ever notice how in a medical office, they hand you a clipboard with a stack of paperwork that's thicker than the latest best-selling novel? I feel like I'm auditioning for a role in the paperwork Olympics. "And the gold medal goes to the person who can fill out insurance forms the fastest!
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Medical office lighting is the real-life Instagram filter. It's so harsh that even supermodels would question their life choices under those fluorescent bulbs. Can we get some soft, flattering lighting for once?
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Why is it that the nurse always asks for your weight right after you've indulged in a week-long Netflix binge and a tub of ice cream? Can't we schedule these appointments on our "I've been eating salads" days?
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You know you're in a medical office when the receptionist says, "The doctor will see you now," and you feel like you're about to perform on stage. "Is this my big break? Do I need a five-minute set ready?
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The medical office scale has mastered the art of passive-aggression. "Step on, please. Oh, and don't forget to take off your shoes, jacket, dignity, and any hopes of feeling good about yourself today.
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Is it just me, or do medical office magazines have a universal language that says, "We're here to make you feel old and out of touch"? I picked up one the other day, and it was like stepping into a time machine filled with articles about dial-up internet and flip phones.
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The waiting room at a medical office is like a social experiment. You've got people pretending to read outdated magazines, avoiding eye contact like it's a staring contest they never signed up for. It's like we're all part of this unspoken "Let's see who can be the most socially awkward" competition.
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