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Why did the Olympic swimmer bring a ladder to the pool? He wanted to win a medal for high diving!
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What did the athlete say after winning the bronze medal? 'Well, at least I'm not an iron-y!'
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Why did the gymnast carry string to the competition? To tie up the gold and swing for the medal!
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Why did the cyclist win a medal in math? Because he knew how to find the right angles!
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Why did the archer bring a deck of cards to the competition? To aim for the suit of clubs and score a medal!
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Why did the wrestler bring a loaf of bread to the match? To pin it to the toast and win a 'breadal'!
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Why did the track athlete become a gardener? Because she wanted to win the seedling medal!
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Why did the weightlifter bring a ladder to the competition? To reach new heights and lift the medal!
Medal for Avoiding Eye Contact
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I received a medal for avoiding eye contact during awkward situations. It's a skill I've honed over years of small talk and elevator rides. The irony is that I didn't make eye contact with the person who gave me the medal. I was too busy staring at the floor.
The Olympic Feat of Finding Lost Things
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I got a medal for finding my keys. It's a real achievement; they were under the couch the whole time. Now I feel like Sherlock Holmes every time I misplace something. I'm waiting for the day someone hands me a medal for finding my sanity.
The Gold Medal of Napping
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I received a medal for my exceptional napping skills. Apparently, I'm an Olympic-level sleeper. I'd like to thank my bed for always being there for me, and my alarm clock for giving me the motivation to hit the snooze button one more time. Dreams do come true, folks.
The Participation Medal Paradox
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I got a participation medal recently. I didn't realize you could get a medal for just showing up. If I'd known that earlier, I would have shown up to my dentist appointments with way more enthusiasm. Here I am, ready for my flossing medal!
The Marathon of Grocery Shopping
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I received a medal for successfully navigating the grocery store without forgetting my shopping list. It's a real challenge, you know? Especially when the supermarket strategically places the ice cream aisle right next to the kale. It's a test of willpower, and I passed with flying flavors.
Medal of Dishonor
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I received a medal for multitasking. It's ironic because I got it while attempting to juggle work, family, and a social life. Little did they know, the medal ceremony was the first time I'd managed to put pants on all week. I'm accepting this award in my pajamas, thank you very much.
Medal for Overcoming Inertia
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I got a medal for getting out of bed. Apparently, the committee was impressed with my ability to defy gravity and leave the comfort of my blankets. I'd like to thank my alarm clock for believing in me and my cat for providing the extra motivation (by knocking things off the nightstand).
Medal for Handling Technology
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I got a medal for fixing the Wi-Fi at home. It's a source of immense pride, considering I still struggle with programming the microwave. My family was so impressed; they suggested I try fixing the remote next. I declined—let's not push it.
The Medal Mishap
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You know, I got a medal recently. Apparently, it's for outstanding bravery in the face of adversity. I was hoping for a medal for outstanding bravery in the face of a spider, but I'll take what I can get. Now, every time I face a challenge, I just look at that medal and think, I conquered my fear of parallel parking, and for that, I am a hero.
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