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I saw a "Best Dad" medal at a thrift store. I thought, "Someone either upgraded to a trophy or had a falling out with their kids.
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You know you're an adult when getting out of bed in the morning deserves a medal. Seriously, I should have a trophy for that Olympic-level effort.
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Why do we only give medals for physical achievements? I want a medal for successfully navigating a conversation with someone who insists on talking about their dreams in excruciating detail.
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Getting a medal for a marathon is impressive, but have you ever received a medal for finding your phone after hours of searching? That's a true victory.
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I admire Olympic athletes, but if there was a medal for binge-watching TV shows, I'd be a world champion by now.
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I found a participation medal from my childhood. Now, I don't want to say I was a lazy kid, but I think it was for a "Most Creative Use of Pillow as a Fort" competition.
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I saw a guy wearing a medal at the grocery store. I thought, "Is this a checkout champion or did he just survive the aisle of screaming kids and slow walkers?
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They say laughter is the best medicine, but I've yet to see a doctor hand out medals for making their patients crack up during a check-up. Maybe I'm in the wrong healthcare plan.
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I bought a self-help book, and it said, "You are your own medal." I tried wearing it to work, but my boss wasn't convinced and just gave me more tasks.
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