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I tried dating a mathematician once. It was like being in a relationship with a human calculator. I'd say, 'I love you to the moon and back,' and they'd respond with, 'That's approximately 768,800 kilometers, by the way.'
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Ever notice how mathematicians talk about 'finding solutions' to problems? In my world, I'm just looking for the remote. They're out there solving quadratic equations, and I'm over here solving the mystery of the missing sock.
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Mathematicians claim that numbers never lie. Clearly, they've never seen my bank statement after a weekend of 'budget-friendly' decisions. I call it creative accounting – they would probably call it a prime example of financial chaos.
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Have you ever noticed how mathematicians always seem to have their own unique sense of humor? They find pi jokes endlessly amusing, while the rest of us are just trying to figure out what's so irrational about it.
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Mathematicians, they're the only people who find joy in solving problems. Meanwhile, the rest of us just create them – especially when trying to split the bill at a restaurant.
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You know you're dealing with a mathematician when they start using numbers as variables in everyday conversations. 'Hey, how's it going?' 'Oh, I'm at a solid 8.5, but I think I can optimize it to a 9.'
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I asked a mathematician for advice on handling life's problems, and they said, 'Just factorize them.' So, now I'm sitting here, trying to factorize my existential crisis. Turns out, it's a prime mess.
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Dating a mathematician is like being in a relationship with a detective. They always want to 'solve' things. 'Why didn't you text me back?' 'Well, according to my calculations, you were within texting range.'
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Mathematicians and I have one thing in common – we both avoid division. They avoid long division, and I avoid dividing the last slice of pizza. It's a delicate balance.
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