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Have you ever noticed how Mark Wahlberg's facial expression never changes? I bet he could win a poker game just by staring at his cards with that intense "I mean business" look. No one would dare challenge him.
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I tried following Mark Wahlberg's workout routine once. After about five minutes, I realized my body was not ready for that level of commitment. Now I stick to the workout routine of lifting my remote control during Netflix marathons.
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Mark Wahlberg has a restaurant called Wahlburgers. I'm just waiting for him to open a bakery called Mark Muffins or a car wash called WahlWash. The man is on a mission to brand every aspect of our lives.
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Mark Wahlberg is so productive, he probably brushes his teeth while doing push-ups. I can't even manage to brush my teeth without contemplating the meaning of life and getting distracted by a YouTube video on how toothpaste is made.
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You ever notice how Mark Wahlberg is always so intense in his movies? I mean, even when he's just ordering a sandwich in a film, it's like he's negotiating world peace with the deli guy. "Give me that turkey and Swiss, and make it snappy! The fate of the free world depends on it!
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Mark Wahlberg's daily routine makes me feel inadequate. I mean, I wake up at a reasonable hour, have a cup of coffee, and consider that a win. Mark's probably bench-pressing his coffee mug before I even hit snooze on my alarm.
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Mark Wahlberg has a crazy schedule, but I bet he still struggles to find his keys in the morning. It's comforting to know that even action heroes have those "Where are my keys?!" moments. Maybe he needs a Wahl-key-finder.
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I recently saw Mark Wahlberg posting his daily schedule online. It's like a military operation! He wakes up at 2:30 AM? I didn't even know 2:30 AM existed outside of emergency room waiting areas.
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Mark Wahlberg is like a human Swiss Army knife – he can act, produce, sing, and probably fix your sink while giving you a motivational speech. I'm just over here trying to multitask by eating a sandwich and watching TV at the same time.
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