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I was watching Lucifer, and I couldn't help but notice that Satan has a knack for getting people to spill their deepest secrets. Maybe he missed his true calling – he should have been a therapist. Can you imagine Satan with a notepad saying, "Tell me about your childhood traumas, and we'll work through them together. No, really, I insist – spill the demonic beans.
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Have you noticed how Lucifer always dresses impeccably, even in the middle of a crime scene? I mean, if I tried that, the detective would probably arrest me for fashion crimes. "Sir, you can't wear white after Labor Day, and definitely not while standing over a dead body.
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You know, I was binge-watching this show about the devil, Lucifer. Now, call me old-fashioned, but when I think of Lucifer, I imagine him with horns and a pitchfork, not a charming British accent and a taste for solving crimes. I mean, who knew Satan moonlighted as a detective? Is there a hidden job fair for underworld creatures or something?
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You know you've watched too much Lucifer when you start thinking, "What would the devil do?" in everyday situations. Like when someone cuts in line at the coffee shop, and you give them the evilest glare possible. Who needs divine intervention when you've got a killer death stare?
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So, Lucifer Morningstar owns a nightclub called Lux. I find it amusing that the ruler of Hell has a side hustle running a swanky nightclub. I guess when you're the devil, you need a place to unwind, and what better way than serving up some killer cocktails while plotting your next diabolical move?
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I was thinking about Lucifer's superpower of getting people to reveal their desires. Imagine if that worked in job interviews. "So, where do you see yourself in five years?" "Honestly, I just want a corner office, a coffee machine that never runs out, and Fridays off to binge-watch Lucifer. Can you make that happen?
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Lucifer claims to have been to Hell and back. I can relate – it's called Monday morning traffic. The only difference is, he probably enjoyed the journey a lot more, considering he gets to drive a sleek sports car while I'm stuck behind a slow-moving tractor.
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Lucifer always seems to have the perfect witty remark for every situation. If I tried that, I'd probably end up with a room full of people staring at me, wondering if I've finally lost it. "Oh, you found the murder weapon? Well, I once lost my TV remote for a week – that's a real crime!
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Lucifer's ability to make people confess their sins just by looking into their eyes is impressive. I tried the same thing at the grocery store, staring down the guy who took the last box of my favorite cereal. Unfortunately, all I got was a confused look and a mumbled apology. Maybe I need devilish charm lessons.
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I recently discovered that Lucifer is one of the most popular shows on TV. I mean, I get it – crime-solving devil with a dash of charisma, what's not to love? But it got me thinking, if Lucifer started a YouTube channel, would it be called "HellTube"? I can already imagine the devilish vlogs and makeup tutorials. "Today, I'll show you how to get a smoky eye that screams eternal damnation.
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