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Social Media Profile Pics
Trying to strike the right balance between reality and Instagram's Valencia filter.
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The trouble with social media is that people expect you to look like your profile pic in real life. I met someone from Tinder, and they were so disappointed. I told them, "I can put a Valencia filter on my face, but I can't put it on my personality.
Shopping for Clothes
When your wardrobe is stuck in the past, but the fashion store thinks you're stuck in the future.
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I went to a high-end fashion store, and the salesperson said, "Our clothes are designed to make a statement." Yeah, my statement was, "I can't afford this." But they gave me a tiny bottle of water, so at least I left hydrated and broke.
Home Mirror
When the home mirror gives you a completely different perspective.
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Ever notice how the lighting in your home mirror turns you into a Hollywood star? I'm thinking about bringing it everywhere. Imagine going to a job interview carrying your own mirror, just in case they need a closer look at your radiant personality.
The Gym Mirror
When you're trying to convince yourself that you've been working out.
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The gym mirror has this magical power of making you think you're in better shape than you actually are. I look in the mirror, and suddenly I believe I could run a marathon... until I remember I can barely run to catch the ice cream truck.
The Barber's Chair
When the barber is a magician, and you're the rabbit hoping not to be pulled out of the hat.
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Barbershop mirrors should come with a disclaimer: "Objects in the mirror may appear more stylish than they actually are." I always leave the barbershop feeling like a million bucks, but my wallet disagrees. It's like, "Dude, you just paid for a scalp massage and a fairy dust sprinkle.
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