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Lizard as a Pet
The struggle of having a lizard as a pet
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I took my lizard for a walk the other day. You know, just trying to break the monotony of its sedentary lifestyle. We made it three steps, and it gave me this look like, "Are you serious?" I guess lizard walks are more of a crawl, sit, and contemplate existence kind of activity.
Lizard Dating
The challenges of dating when you have a pet lizard
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I took my lizard to a speed dating event. Let's just say it didn't go well. Every time I tried to introduce it to someone, it would scamper away like it was auditioning for "America's Got Talent." I guess my lizard has commitment issues.
Lizard as a Superhero
The challenges of being a lizard with superpowers
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I trained my lizard to do a cool trick. It's called "The Invisibility Act." It works every time someone knocks on the door. I open it, and they're like, "You don't have a pet lizard, do you?" And I'm like, "Who told you?
Lizard at the Office
The challenges of bringing a lizard to the workplace
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My boss asked me why I brought a lizard to work. I said it's for stress relief. He looked at me and said, "We have a coffee machine for that." I argued that the lizard doesn't judge my caffeine intake. It just judges my taste in neckties.
Lizard in the Wild
The challenges of being a lizard in the wild
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I bet lizards have their version of social media. You know, they share pictures of the best sunbathing spots, rate the tastiest bugs, and complain about that one annoying bird that keeps interrupting their meditation sessions. #LizardLife
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