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You ever notice how Lefty always takes the left turn? I don't know if it's a conscious decision or if Lefty's internal compass just points permanently west, but if there's a fork in the road, you bet Lefty is going left. I tried following Lefty's left turns once, thinking maybe there's some secret lefty paradise. Turns out, it's just a series of left turns leading to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, and Lefty's favorite coffee shop. It's like Lefty has a left-turning routine.
I'm convinced that if Lefty were a NASCAR driver, they'd only make left turns. Right turns are just too mainstream for Lefty. And don't even get me started on roundabouts. Lefty treats them like a personal challenge – "How many left turns can I make before someone honks at me?
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You ever notice how there's always that one person in a group who's a bit of an enigma? Like, you're hanging out with friends, having a good time, and then there's Lefty. Lefty is like the secret agent of the group. You never really know what they're up to. I asked Lefty once, "Hey, what's the deal? Why are you always so mysterious?" And Lefty goes, "I'm just living life on the edge, you know, keeping things interesting." Yeah, right! Lefty, the most interesting thing you've done all week is decide whether to use the regular milk or the almond milk in your coffee.
I tried to follow Lefty around once to see what they do in their free time. Turns out, Lefty's idea of a wild night is rearranging their sock drawer. I mean, seriously, who does that? Lefty does, apparently.
I've come to the conclusion that Lefty is the unsung hero of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). They're not missing out on anything because, well, we have no idea what they're doing in the first place. Lefty, the real MVP of mystery.
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Have you ever played a game with Lefty? It's like playing poker with someone who has a permanent poker face. Lefty is the master of keeping their cards close to the chest, both in games and in life. You know, we were playing charades once, and Lefty gets up to act out something. Everyone's guessing, and Lefty's just standing there, not giving away anything. We're shouting out random things, and Lefty's expression doesn't change. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Lefty reveals the answer. Turns out, they were acting out "watching paint dry." Really, Lefty? That was your grand performance?
I've realized that Lefty's ability to keep a straight face is not just limited to games. In real life, Lefty could probably witness a UFO landing, and their reaction would be, "Eh, seen it before." I'm convinced Lefty is immune to surprise.
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You ever try to find Lefty on social media? Good luck with that! Lefty is like a ghost online. You search for their profile, and all you find is a trail of breadcrumbs leading to dead ends. I asked Lefty about it, and they said, "Oh, I'm just not that into social media. I like to keep a low profile." Low profile? Lefty, you're so low profile, even the internet can't find you.
I bet if Lefty had a dating profile, it would be like, "Swipe left because I'm always left, and good luck finding me." Lefty, the social media ninja, leaving no digital trace behind. I'm convinced they have a secret online identity where they're a world-famous cat video curator or something.
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