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Have you ever tried to kneel in jeans? It's like trying to fold a fitted sheet – it looks easy, but you end up all twisted and questioning your life choices.
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I tried proposing to my girlfriend while kneeling, but I forgot I had bad knees. So, it went from "Will you marry me?" to "Ouch, I need a medic!
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Kneeling in a crowded place is an extreme sport. You're down there, tying your shoelaces, and suddenly it feels like you're in the middle of a parade. People marching right over you.
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I saw a superhero movie the other day, and the hero had a unique power – the ability to kneel really dramatically. Villains would surrender just because of the sheer theatrics.
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I saw a fitness class the other day that involved a lot of kneeling. I thought it was a workout, but turns out, it was just a seminar on how to tie your shoes with extra flair.
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Kneeling in church is like the ultimate leg day workout. Pastors should be personal trainers too. "Now, let's do ten more prayers, and remember to engage those spiritual muscles!
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Why is it that when someone kneels to tie their shoe, it's a quick, inconspicuous act, but when I do it, it looks like I'm auditioning for a low-budget interpretive dance?
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You ever notice how people only kneel when they're proposing or praying? Like, can you imagine if we kneeled for everything? "Excuse me, waiter, I'd like to order the spaghetti, and yes, I'll be kneeling for that.
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Kneeling is like the original "I need a break" move. I'm going to start kneeling at work when my boss hands me another report. Just drop to one knee and say, "I need a moment of silence for my productivity.
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