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Why did the kid bring a ladder to the pool? Because they wanted to dive into the deep end!
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Why was the lifeguard always calm at the pool? They knew how to 'pool' it together!
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Why did the lifeguard bring a pencil to the pool? In case they needed to draw attention!
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Why did the rubber ducky refuse to go to the pool? It didn't want to deal with 'fowl' play!
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How does a baby shark ask for snacks at the pool? Can I have some 'fin' chips, please?
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Why do fish avoid swimming in the shallow end? They don't want to be 'shallow' thinkers!
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Why was the math book sad at the pool? Because it had too many problems!
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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They've got this innate ability to turn the simplest game of Marco Polo into a high-stakes international espionage thriller. I saw a kid ninja-crawl along the pool edge like he was on a secret mission. Marco Polo has never been so intense.
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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It's the only place where sunscreen becomes a weapon of mass application. They're like little sunscreen artists, creating abstract patterns on their bodies. By the end of the day, you've got more SPF on you than a roasted chicken in a tanning salon.
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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It's the only place where standing in line is a competitive sport. They've turned waiting for the slide into an extreme sport. I saw a kid strategizing with a diagram like he was plotting a heist. Okay, Timmy, you go distract the lifeguard, and I'll slide down when he's not looking!
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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I've never seen so many negotiations happen over who gets the pink floaty and who's stuck with the green one. It's like a United Nations summit for inflatable diplomacy. I'm just waiting for someone to declare war over the last remaining donut-shaped tube.
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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They transform into mini-tornadoes of wet chaos. It's like trying to wrangle a herd of hyperactive water buffalos on a sugar rush. If you've ever considered becoming a lifeguard, just know that it's basically signing up for a summer internship in crowd control at the splash zone.
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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It's like a water-based version of The Hunger Games. You enter with a pristine swimsuit, and by the time you leave, it looks like you've been through a laundry tornado. I don't know what kind of water they have in there, but it's got the stain-removing power of a thousand grandmas.
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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It's the only place where snacks are currency. You'd think they were negotiating international trade deals with the way they haggle over fruit snacks and juice boxes. I saw a kid trade his sandwich for a pack of gummy worms – he's obviously got a future in finance.
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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It's the only place where the phrase Look at me, Mom! is immediately followed by a cannonball that creates a tidal wave capable of soaking an entire sunbathing section. Forget synchronized swimming – they're mastering the art of surprise hydration.
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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You become a human towel dispenser. Suddenly, you're the designated wipe-it-off guy. You feel like a walking, talking paper towel roll, just there to soak up the aftermath of water balloon fights and popsicle mishaps.
Kids, when you go to the pool...
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You know, it's like a synchronized chaos, right? They all enter the water like they're auditioning for an Olympic diving team coached by chaos itself. I swear, it's less synchronized swimming and more like a splashy rebellion against the laws of physics.
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