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You know, they say kids are like little truth bombs, just waiting to explode at the most inconvenient times. The other day, I'm at a family gathering, and my adorable niece decides it's the perfect moment to reveal a little family secret. She goes, "Uncle, did you know Aunt Lisa talks to her plants more than she talks to you?" Now, I'm standing there, caught in the crossfire of toddler truth, thinking, "Well, at least the plants are thriving!
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Have you ever tried negotiating with a kid? It's like sitting down at the table with a tiny lawyer who's armed with logic that defies the laws of physics. My daughter is a master negotiator. The other day, she comes up to me and says, "Dad, bedtime is negotiable." I'm sorry, what? I didn't realize we were entering into bedtime treaty talks. Next thing you know, she'll be demanding a later curfew and a raise in her allowance.
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Kids really are the unsung comedians of our time. I overheard my neighbor's kids the other day, having a full-blown argument. One says to the other, "You can't pause an online game, you idiot!" I thought, "Wow, these kids are dropping truth bombs about the struggles of the digital age." Forget open mics, the future of standup comedy might just be a bunch of 10-year-olds roasting each other on Xbox Live.
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I've come to the realization that kids are the ultimate tattletales. They're like pint-sized detectives, always ready to spill the beans on anyone within a five-mile radius. The other day, I'm hanging out with my son and his friend, and out of nowhere, the friend drops this bombshell: "Your dad eats ice cream for breakfast." Now, I'm not saying he's wrong, but I definitely didn't need my breakfast choices exposed by a 7-year-old. I'm just trying to live my best dessert-for-breakfast life!
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