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Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Kids are like walking, talking social media apps. They don't just play with toys; they curate an entire lifestyle to tell their friends about. 'Yeah, my room is messy, but did you see the Lego city I built? #ArchitectOfChaos'.
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Kids are like little marketing executives. My son, trying to boost my street cred, told his friends, 'My dad is so cool; he knows all the trending dances.' Well, the only dance I know is the 'shuffle' between work and chores.
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My kid wanted to impress his friends, so he told them I'm a secret superhero. I asked him, 'What's my superpower?' He said, 'You can find anything, except your keys.'
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Kids love boasting about their parents. My daughter told her friends, 'My mom is a fitness guru.' Little did they know, my workout routine is lifting the TV remote during Netflix marathons.
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Kids these days have mastered the art of exaggeration. 'Oh, you have a cool pet? Well, my dog is basically a secret agent. He fetches secrets instead of sticks, and his bark is in code.'
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I overheard my son on the phone with his friend, saying, 'Yeah, my dad is a culinary genius. He can make instant noodles without burning the water.' Well, at least I have a Michelin star in the kitchen of mediocrity.
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My son is a one-man PR team. I caught him telling his friend, 'Yeah, my dad is so tech-savvy, he can program the microwave.' I didn't have the heart to tell him I still can't figure out the TV remote.
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Kids will make up the wildest stories to impress their friends. My daughter once told her pals, 'My dad can speak five languages.' Meanwhile, I struggle to communicate in English before my morning coffee.
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My daughter told her friends, 'My dad is a stand-up comedian. He's so funny; he can even make my broccoli laugh.' Well, folks, here I am, attempting to turn vegetables into a comedy club. Let's just say the broccoli wasn't impressed.
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