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Keynote speakers and magicians have a lot in common. They both have a way of making things disappear – in one case, it's your attention span, and in the other, it's a rabbit from a hat.
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I was at a conference, and the keynote speaker had everyone on the edge of their seats. Turns out, it was just because the Wi-Fi was down, and we were all desperately trying to refresh our Twitter feeds.
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Keynote speakers are like the GPS of a conference. You follow their directions, but half the time, you still end up lost in a sea of PowerPoint slides and jargon.
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I attended a conference where the keynote speaker had a PowerPoint with more slides than my last family vacation album. I didn't know whether to take notes or plan a weekend getaway.
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You ever notice how keynote speakers always have that one signature gesture? Like, they'll dramatically point to the future or make grand sweeping motions. I tried doing that at my last family gathering, and now they think I'm just really passionate about mashed potatoes.
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Ever notice how keynote speakers always have that intense stare? It's like they're trying to hypnotize us into thinking we understand blockchain technology or the secret to work-life balance.
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Keynote speakers always have these impressive titles like "Chief Innovation Evangelist." I'm thinking of updating my business card to "Supreme Overlord of Coffee Breaks" – it's a vital role; trust me.
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Keynote speakers love using acronyms. I feel like I need a decoder ring just to figure out what they're talking about. It's like a secret language where A.S.A.P stands for "Always Say Acronyms, Please!
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You ever notice how keynote speakers always start with a joke to break the ice? It's like, buddy, I'm here for the knowledge, not your stand-up career. If I wanted laughs, I'd have gone to a comedy club, not a tech summit.
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