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Raise your hand if you have that one friend who's technologically challenged. Well, that's Jimbo for you. He calls me up one day and says, "Hey, can you help me set up my new smart TV?" I'm thinking, "Sure, it's 2023; how hard can it be?" I get to his place, and he hands me the remote like it's an alien artifact. He says, "I tried pressing buttons, but it just stares at me." I look at the remote, and it's still in the plastic wrap. I ask him, "Jimbo, did you even unwrap this thing?" He replies, "I thought it looked better that way."
Jimbo, in the world of technology, you can't keep things wrapped up like a Christmas present. We're not trying to watch TV through gift wrap, my friend.
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Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you about my friend Jimbo. Jimbo thinks he's a culinary genius. He watches all these fancy cooking shows, and he's like, "I can do that!" So, he invites us over for dinner, and we're like, "Sure, Jimbo, we'd love to taste your culinary masterpieces." But here's the thing, Jimbo's kitchen looks like a war zone. It's like a tornado hit a grocery store and left everything in disarray. I walk in, and there's flour on the ceiling, tomato sauce on the walls, and Jimbo standing there proudly holding a burnt casserole. I'm thinking, "Is this dinner or an episode of 'Kitchen Nightmares'?"
I asked him, "Jimbo, what's the secret ingredient in this lasagna?" He looks at me dead in the eyes and says, "Love." Well, Jimbo, next time, how about a pinch of competence?
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Now, let's talk about Jimbo's fashion sense. The man has a wardrobe that hasn't seen the light of this decade. I mean, he's rocking bell-bottoms like he just stepped out of a disco. I asked him, "Jimbo, are you a time traveler? Did you miss the memo that we're in the 21st century?" He wears these Hawaiian shirts that are so loud; I'm surprised they haven't been banned for noise pollution. I told him, "Jimbo, you're not on a permanent vacation. You're just going to the grocery store." But no, he insists on looking like a tourist in his own life.
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You ever been in a car with someone who thinks they're the best driver in the world, but you're gripping the door handle for dear life? That's Jimbo. I swear, he thinks every trip is a NASCAR race. I'm in the passenger seat, praying to survive, and Jimbo's over there pretending he's auditioning for 'Fast and Furious.' We hit a speed bump, and I nearly get launched into the backseat. I turn to Jimbo and ask, "Dude, what was that?" He looks at me casually and goes, "Oh, just testing the suspension." Jimbo, this is a Toyota, not a spaceship. Can we please drive like we're not in a Vin Diesel movie?
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