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Why did the Jehovah's Witness start a bakery? Because they kneaded more converts!
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Why was the Jehovah's Witness the best party host? They always brought the divine spirits!
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What do you call a group of Jehovah's Witnesses in a rocket? Spiritual astronauts!
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What did the Jehovah's Witness say to the procrastinator? 'Why wait for salvation when it's knocking at your door?
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Why do Jehovah's Witnesses make excellent comedians? They've got divine timing!
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Why did the Jehovah's Witness bring a ladder to the bar? To raise the spirits!
Jehovah's Secret Agents
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I think Jehovah's Witnesses are secretly the James Bonds of the religious world. Picture this – they come to your door with a suit, a briefcase full of pamphlets, and a license to convert. The name's Evangelist, Spiritual Evangelist.
Jehovah's Witness Protection Program
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Have you ever wondered if Jehovah's Witnesses have a witness protection program? Like, they accidentally convert someone they shouldn't have, and now they need to relocate them to a different neighborhood before the word gets out. We're gonna need to change your identity and find you a new congregation, buddy.
Jehovah's Google Maps
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Jehovah's Witnesses are like the Google Maps of spirituality. They know every address – your house, your neighbor's house, even the house at the end of the celestial cul-de-sac. You can't hide from them; they've got heavenly navigation.
Jehovah's Wi-Fi Signal
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I asked a Jehovah's Witness if they had Wi-Fi in heaven. They said, No, but we've got an excellent prayer connection! I guess that explains why my internet keeps dropping – I need to pray for a better signal.
Jehovah's Joggers
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You ever notice how Jehovah's Witnesses are like the marathon runners of religious door-knocking? I mean, if spreading the good word was an Olympic sport, they'd be on the podium every time. Picture this – instead of a pamphlet, they hand you a participation medal for listening to their pitch. Congratulations, you've just earned eternal salvation and a shiny bronze medal!
Jehovah's Fitness Program
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I saw a Jehovah's Witness on a Segway the other day. I thought, Wow, they're really modernizing the whole door-knocking experience! They're not just delivering the good news; they're doing it with style. I guess you could call it the Jehovah's Fitness Program – spiritual enlightenment on wheels.
Jehovah's Witness Protection Plan
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Jehovah's Witnesses must have the ultimate witness protection plan. They knock on your door, convert you, and suddenly, you've got divine backup for life. If anyone messes with you, just say, You know, I've got a friend up there who knows a thing or two about lightning bolts.
Jehovah's GPS
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I asked a Jehovah's Witness for directions, and they started telling me about the path to salvation. I said, No, no, I'm looking for the nearest Starbucks. I guess their GPS only navigates the celestial realms.
Jehovah's Doorbell
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You ever notice how Jehovah's Witnesses always ring your doorbell twice? It's like they're saying, Knock, knock! Who's there? Eternal salvation! Eternal salvation who? Eternal salvation if you just open the door, my friend!
Jehovah's High-Speed Internet
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I had a Jehovah's Witness knock on my door the other day. I thought, what if they offered more than just spiritual enlightenment? Imagine if they were like, Have you heard the good news about eternal life? Oh, and by the way, we've got a special on high-speed internet this month – divine downloads guaranteed!
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