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Yoga Instructor
Maintaining zen in a chaotic world
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I envy yoga instructors. They're so calm and collected. If someone cut them off in traffic, they'd probably just do a quick sun salutation and wish them good vibes. Meanwhile, I'm over here inventing new yoga poses with expletives in their names.
Therapist
Helping people control their anger
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I went to an anger management class once. The therapist told me to count to ten when I'm mad. Now, every time someone cuts me off, I'm in my car like, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... oh, forget it, you're getting the horn!
Traffic Cop
Dealing with road rage
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Traffic cops have it tough. They're out there rain or shine, dealing with angry drivers. It's like they went to the police academy and signed up for a lifetime of being the bad guy in a sea of bumper stickers.
Customer Service Representative
Dealing with irate customers
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Imagine if customer service reps had a swear jar for every time someone cursed at them. They'd be able to retire after a single shift. "Ma'am, that'll be $5 for the profanity, and $10 for the sarcasm. Would you like to pay with cash or credit?
Parent of a Teenager
Navigating the storm of teenage rebellion
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I tried to be a cool parent and understand teenage slang. I asked my kid, "What's the 411?" They looked at me like I'd just asked for the launch codes to a spaceship. "The 411, Dad? Seriously? It's called Google.
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