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In the bustling city of Jestopolis, a group of aspiring superheroes, known as the "Lonely Crusaders," decided to host a social mixer to connect with potential sidekicks. Little did they know, their invitations were mistakenly sent to the local incel support group. As the superheroes eagerly awaited the arrival of their new sidekicks, they were greeted by a group of individuals who, instead of discussing crime-fighting strategies, engaged in passionate debates about the merits of different fictional universes. The superheroes, initially puzzled, found themselves drawn into conversations about the physics of superhero capes and the optimal number of utility belt compartments.
The mixer turned into a surreal blend of intense comic book discussions and accidental slapstick heroics. Superheroes tried to impress their potential sidekicks with daring feats, only to find themselves tangled in their own capes or tripping over imaginary villains. The night ended with a mutual agreement that crime-fighting was best left to the professionals, but they did discover a shared love for superhero-themed trivia nights.
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In the enchanting village of Hilariton, a peculiar inventor named Gary concocted a love potion designed to bring joy to lonely hearts. However, a clumsy delivery mixed up the bottles, and the love potion found its way into the drinks of the local incel support group. As the potion took effect, chaos ensued. Members of the group, known for their introverted tendencies, found themselves hilariously overconfident in their romantic pursuits. One particularly shy member suddenly declared his love by composing elaborate, Shakespearean sonnets in the grocery store. Another, now overly charismatic, attempted a daring romantic gesture, tripping over his own feet in the process.
The village soon realized the unintended consequences of the potion, as the once solitary hearts became entangled in a web of comedic misadventures. Gary, the unwitting matchmaker, scrambled to fix his mistake, resulting in a town-wide scavenger hunt for the antidote. In the end, love prevailed, albeit with a lot more laughter and a newfound appreciation for the quirks of romance.
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In the quaint town of Chuckleville, a group of well-intentioned friends decided to help their incel buddy, Rick, find love. Unbeknownst to them, Rick was perfectly content with his single life, but the friends were determined to seek out the mythical "Dating Manual" rumored to be hidden in the town's library. The group embarked on a hilarious quest, encountering eccentric librarians and navigating shelves filled with self-help books with titles like "Love Potions for Dummies" and "Dating for Dinos." Each misinterpreted piece of advice led to uproarious situations, from awkward pick-up lines to unintentional attempts at romantic serenades involving borrowed kazoo instruments.
As the group finally stumbled upon the dusty tome labeled "Dating Manual," they discovered it was a collection of classic literature, with no dating advice in sight. Rick, amused by the misguided effort, decided to join his friends for a night of board games and laughter, realizing that love couldn't be found in a manual but in the quirky adventures of life.
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Once upon a time in the quirky town of Punsberg, there lived two friends, Max and Phil. Max, a wordsmith by trade, was known for his dry wit, while Phil, an aspiring comedian, embraced slapstick humor with open arms. One day, the duo decided to organize a comedy festival, and little did they know, their invitations got mixed up in the mail. As the festival commenced, the audience eagerly awaited the first act. To everyone's surprise, Max, donning oversized clown shoes and a rainbow wig, stumbled onto the stage, attempting slapstick humor with his sophisticated vocabulary. The audience was torn between laughter and confusion. Meanwhile, Phil, dressed in a suit and monocle, took the mic backstage, delivering pun after pun in his earnest attempt at dry wit.
The crowd erupted into laughter, not at the planned jokes, but at the absurdity of the mix-up. Max and Phil, realizing the situation, joined forces for an impromptu act that seamlessly blended clever wordplay with exaggerated physical comedy. The town of Punsberg never forgot the day they witnessed the birth of "slapstick wit," a comedy genre that left everyone in stitches.
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So, incels have this interesting relationship with pick-up artists. It's like the blind leading the socially awkward. Pick-up artists are like, "Just use these magic words, and she'll fall for you." And incels are like, "Magic words? We can barely say 'hello' without sweating." I read about this pick-up artist technique where you're supposed to insult a girl playfully. They call it "negging." You know, like saying, "Nice hair, did you borrow it from a mop?" Yeah, that'll win her heart. Because nothing says love like a backhanded compliment.
I can imagine an incel trying this. "Hey, your smile is almost as rare as my social skills." Smooth, buddy. Real smooth. It's like they took a crash course in romance from Dr. Seuss. "Green Eggs and No Dates."
Anyway, let's just hope these guys figure it out eventually. Until then, I'll be over here, taking relationship advice from someone who's actually in a relationship.
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Hey, everybody! So, I was browsing the internet the other day and stumbled upon this group called "incels." Now, for those of you who don't know, "incels" stands for involuntary celibates. Yeah, they've got a fancy term for it. It's like they're in a celibacy club, and the first rule is you don't get laid. I was reading their forums, and they're giving each other love advice. Love advice from incels! It's like getting cooking tips from someone who can't boil water. "Hey man, to win her heart, just be yourself." Dude, if being yourself worked, we wouldn't be having this conversation! It's like asking a broke friend for financial advice. "Just save more money!" Oh, why didn't I think of that?
And they use all these acronyms like SMV, which apparently stands for Sexual Market Value. It's like they're playing the stock market, but instead of buying low and selling high, they're just not buying at all. "Invest in yourself," they say. Well, if I could trade in my awkwardness for bitcoin, I'd be a billionaire.
I thought I'd try one of their tips just for fun. So, I walked up to a girl and said, "Hey, my SMV is through the roof!" She looked at me like I was an alien. I guess my SMV needs a reality check.
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Who's into online dating? Yeah? Well, I decided to give it a shot, and I realized something. Dating apps are like a buffet for incels. You've got all these options laid out in front of you, and yet, some people are just staring at the empty plate. Incels complain about being forever alone, but have they tried swiping right instead of writing essays on why they're undateable? I mean, come on! There's a guy on there, probably typing, "My hobbies include breathing and existing." No wonder he's not getting any matches!
And then there's the profile pictures. Some guys look like they just got out of bed and decided, "Yeah, this is the one that's gonna get me a date." You know what would be a great profile picture? One with good lighting, where you don't look like you're auditioning for The Walking Dead.
I can imagine their bios: "Looking for someone to love me as much as I love my anime body pillow." Good luck with that, buddy.
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You ever notice the incel fashion sense? It's like they raided the clearance rack at a thrift store and said, "This is my style!" Baggy pants, oversized shirts – it's the fashion show no one asked for. I saw one guy wearing a fedora, thinking it's the key to unlocking the mysteries of the friend zone. Dude, the only thing that hat is unlocking is the door to no dates. It's like they took fashion advice from a 1920s gangster.
And then there's the grooming situation. It's like they're allergic to razors. "Yeah, I'm growing a beard to look more rugged." No, you just look like you're auditioning for a role in Grizzly Adams: The College Years.
I tried giving one of them a makeover once. Gave him a nice haircut, some decent clothes. He looked at himself in the mirror and said, "I don't recognize the person staring back at me." Yeah, because the person staring back isn't wearing a fedora!
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I told the incel he should take up hiking. He said, 'Why climb mountains when I can't even climb out of the friend zone?
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I suggested to my incel friend that he should learn to dance. He said, 'Why bother? I've been two-stepping around relationships my whole life.
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Why did the incel become a detective? He wanted to solve the mystery of why he's always single.
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I told my incel friend he should take up gardening. He asked, 'What's the point? I can't even get a date to grow.
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I recommended speed dating to my incel friend. He said, 'I tried it once, but apparently, 'speed' refers to how quickly they run away.
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I asked the incel if he had any plans for Valentine's Day. He said, 'Yeah, I'm changing my relationship status to 'in a relationship with pizza.
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What's an incel's favorite type of math? Subtraction, because they always end up alone.
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Why did the incel bring a mirror to the party? He wanted to show everyone his 'self-love.
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Why did the incel start a band? He thought it was the only way to get someone to notice his 'single' status.
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What did the incel say when he finally got a date? 'It's a typo; they meant 'bate' as in 'master of procrastibating.
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I told the incel he should take up photography. He said, 'Why bother capturing moments when I can't capture a date?
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What did the incel say to the computer? 'I've been looking for love in all the wrong places, but maybe Google can help.
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Why did the incel become a chef? He wanted to improve his relationship with the ladies – whisking them off their feet!
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I suggested to my incel friend that he should try stand-up comedy. He said, 'I've been sitting down my whole life; maybe that's the problem.
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I asked the incel if he wanted to play hide and seek. He said, 'I've been hiding my charm for so long; I doubt anyone is still seeking.
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What's an incel's favorite type of movie? A 'single'-camera documentary.
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Why did the incel bring a pencil to the party? He wanted to draw attention to himself.
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Why did the incel bring a map to the library? He heard there were plenty of books on relationships, but he couldn't find any.
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Why did the incel bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
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I asked the incel if he wanted to join a cooking class. He said, 'Nah, I'm already a pro at cooking up excuses.
The DIY Incel
Believing that DIY methods can solve all dating problems
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I heard candles set the mood for romance, so I covered my entire apartment in candles. Now, I'm not incel; I'm just in arson jail.
The Conspiracy Theorist Incel
Believing there's a grand conspiracy against incels
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I tried decoding the secret messages in romantic movies, thinking they held the key to breaking the incel curse. Turns out, "The Notebook" is just a notebook, and there's no hidden code in "Casablanca" that says, "Give the incels a break.
The Tech-Savvy Incel
Excelling in online interactions but failing miserably in real-life dating
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I've been in so many online relationships that my Wi-Fi bill is higher than my chances of getting a date.
The Philosophical Incel
Pondering the meaning of love while struggling to find it
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They say love is all about chemistry. Well, my love life is so inactive; even the periodic table thinks I'm an inert gas.
The Hopeful Incel
Struggling to find love while being overly optimistic
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I decided to write a self-help book for incels. It's called "From Basement to Bae-ment." Spoiler alert: It's just a blank notebook.
Incel Cooking Class
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They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right? Well, the Incel Cooking Class teaches you how to cook up excuses instead. Spoiler alert: it's a recipe for disaster.
Incel Dating App
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They're developing a new Incel-exclusive dating app. It's called SoloMate. The algorithm matches you with someone equally convinced the world owes them a romantic debt. Spoiler alert: it's a match made in resentment.
Incel Tech Support
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I heard they're launching an Incel Tech Support hotline. You call them up, and instead of fixing your computer, they just tell you it's the machine's way of rejecting you. Talk about getting ghosted by your own laptop!
Incel Fortune Cookies
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I had an Incel-themed fortune cookie the other day. It said, Love is like Wi-Fi, it's invisible, and you're probably not getting any. Well, at least the cookie's self-awareness is stronger than its matchmaking abilities.
The Incel Convention
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You ever hear about the Incel Convention? Yeah, apparently it's just a bunch of guys standing around, complaining that their favorite anime character won't return their calls. I mean, come on, fellas, even fictional characters need restraining orders these days.
Incel GPS Navigation
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I got this new GPS navigation system, designed by incels. It doesn't just give you directions; it passive-aggressively tells you that you probably missed your turn because you're undesirable. Thanks, but I think I'll stick to Google Maps.
Incel Movie Marathon
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I heard they're organizing an Incel Movie Marathon. It's just two films: Eternal Friendzone of the Spotless Mind and No Country for Single Men. Spoiler alert: they both have unhappy endings, just like a typical incel bedtime story.
Incel Pet Shop
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There's a new pet shop for incels. It's called Forever Alone Pets. You can buy a cat that ignores you and a fish that won't even make eye contact. It's like having a relationship, but without the hassle of reciprocal emotions.
Incel Motivational Speaker
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I heard there's an Incel Motivational Speaker making the rounds. His catchphrase? When life gives you lemons, blame the lemons for not being oranges. Because why take responsibility when you can just fruit-shame?
Incel Fitness Program
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I saw an ad for an Incel fitness program the other day. It's called Running Away from Rejection. The only problem is, they haven't figured out how to make it past the first step—opening the door.
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Incels always complain about being friend-zoned. I mean, come on, if they had a loyalty card for being friend-zoned, they'd have a free coffee by now. Maybe that's their secret plan – get enough stamps and unlock the achievement of a free relationship.
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I heard incels started a new workout trend. It's called "Lifting Weights and Feeling Sorry for Yourself." The only six-pack they're developing is in the fridge while they binge-watch romantic comedies.
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I tried to console an incel once, and he said, "Don't worry, I'm used to rejection." I told him, "I'm not rejecting you; I'm just not accepting your invitation to join the Pity Party.
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You know you're dealing with an incel when his idea of a romantic gesture is sending unsolicited poetry to your inbox. I got one the other day that said, "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm lonely as hell, and this poem is too.
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You ever notice how incels have their own dating app? It's called "ForeverAloneMingle." The only match you get is with a mirror, and even that's a swipe left.
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Ever notice how incels have a unique way of taking selfies? It's like they've mastered the art of capturing the loneliness in their eyes. #FilterForFeelings
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Incels have their own motivational quotes. "When life gives you lemons, just sit in your basement and complain about how life never gave you a chance to make lemonade.
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Incels have a secret weapon – they call it the "Charm Bracelet." It's just a bracelet with the charms of every excuse they've ever used for not getting a date.
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Incels claim to be experts in body language. They can tell you what it means when a girl crosses her arms or looks away. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to figure out what to order for dinner.
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