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You know, the Winter Olympics are great and all, but I think they're missing out on some truly epic events. I propose a few new additions, starting with the Ice Rink 5000. Picture this: speed skating meets Mario Kart. Banana peels, turtle shells, and the occasional rogue hockey puck. Now
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Ever notice how romantic comedies always have that quintessential ice skating scene? It's supposed to be all magical and dreamy, but in reality, it's just a disaster waiting to happen. I tried taking my date ice skating once, thinking we'd have our own cinematic moment. Instead, it was more like
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You ever been to an ice rink? It's like they took a perfectly good floor and decided, "Hey, let's make this as slippery as humanly possible!" I mean, who needs friction anyway? It's like they're trying to turn us all into penguins. And don't get me started on ice skating.
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You ever watch the Zamboni driver at the ice rink? That person is living the dream, driving around in their own little ice resurfacing spaceship. I bet when they were kids, they didn't dream of being an astronaut; they dreamed of driving the Zamboni. I mean, who wouldn't want that
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