11 Husband N Wife Jokes

One Liners

Updated on: Jun 17 2024

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My wife told me I should be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends – my left and right hand!
My wife accused me of being too secretive. I haven't told her what my other identities are yet.
My wife accused me of being immature. Guess who's not allowed in my treehouse now?
I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
My wife said she’s leaving me because of my obsession with poker. But I think she’s bluffing.
My wife says I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop anytime.
My wife asked me to stop singing 'Wonderwall' to her. I said maybe…
My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
My wife says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, she's in for a shock.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

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