21 Jokes For Horologist

Puns

Updated on: Jun 16 2024

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What did the watch say to the lazy clock? 'Don't just stand there, hand me the hour!
What did the watch say to the hourglass? 'We're both in this for the long run!
Why did the horologist go to the watchmaker's party? Because he wanted to have a 'timely' good time!
What did the watch say to the wrist? 'I've got you covered!
Why did the watch break up with the clock? It wanted 'time' alone!
Why did the clock get in trouble in school? It couldn't 'keep' up with the lessons!
How do you fix a broken clock? You give it 'a second' chance!
Why did the watch throw a party? To have a 'watching' good time!
What's a horologist's favorite game? Tic-toc-toe!
What did the wristwatch say to the grandfather clock? 'Hands down, you're timeless!
Why did the watchmaker get into comedy? He had a knack for 'timing' his jokes just right!

The Clock's Ticking

Horologists are serious about time. I asked one for advice on being punctual. They said, Just set all your clocks five minutes ahead. Now I'm punctual... for the future.

Late to the Party

I tried to impress a horologist once. I said, I'm always on time! They looked at their watch and replied, Tell that to your punctuality, it seems to be running fashionably late.

Time's Up!

I asked a horologist for advice on managing time. They said, Time management is simple: Just do everything you need to do before you run out of time. Brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? Oh, wait... because it's impossible!

Time Traveler Woes

Horologists have a thing for antique clocks. They told me, It's like time traveling without the risk of getting stuck in the wrong century. Yeah, because being fashionably late to the Renaissance wouldn't be awkward at all.

Clockwise Conundrum

Ever notice how horologists always talk about clockwise and counterclockwise? I get confused. I'm like, Can't we just say turn right or left? Or better yet, 'Go watchwards!'

Time's a Charmer

Horologists claim they can tell the future just by looking at a clock. I tried it. Stared at my watch for an hour, and all I saw was how late I was for my dentist appointment. The future's not looking bright.

Ticking Troubles

Horologists must have the patience of a saint. They deal with tiny gears and cogs all day. Me? I struggle changing batteries in a regular clock. They're lucky I'm not in charge; everyone would be fashionably late.

Watch This!

Horologists know every intricate detail about watches. I tried to show off by fixing my own watch. Now, I have enough spare parts to build a mini time machine... or maybe just a funky bracelet.

Time's Relative

Horologists say, Time is relative. I get it now. When they say they'll finish repairing your watch in a week, it's relative to a calendar from Jupiter.

Time Out!

Ever met a horologist? They're like the timekeepers of life. I met one at a party who said, I'm a horologist. I replied, Well, isn't everyone when they have to deal with their in-laws?

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