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You ever have a friend who just got out of mouth surgery? It's like witnessing a live performance of a silent symphony. They're trying to communicate, but all you get are these muffled, unintelligible sounds. It's like they're auditioning for a role in a mime show, and you're left there, pretending to understand their dental interpretive dance. And the worst part is, they hand you this little whiteboard to write down what you want to say. I feel like I'm in a cheesy rom-com, communicating through handwritten notes. It's all fun and games until autocorrect makes it a completely different conversation. I just wanted to ask if they wanted soup, not propose marriage.
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So, post-mouth surgery, they hand you a list of approved soft foods. It's like the universe's way of saying, "Congratulations, you're now a baby." Applesauce, yogurt, mashed potatoes – it's like a culinary trip down memory lane, but without the joy of being a carefree toddler. And let's talk about soup. The go-to meal for the temporarily toothless. But can we acknowledge the challenge of eating soup without looking like a total disaster? It's a delicate balance between sipping and slurping. You're basically auditioning for a role in a noodle commercial every time you take a spoonful.
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After mouth surgery, there's this inevitable chipmunk phase. Your face swells up, and suddenly, you're starring in a sequel to Alvin and the Chipmunks – "Simon Gets Dental Work." People try to be polite, but you catch them staring at your cheeks like they're a sideshow attraction. You're just waiting for someone to offer you a peanut. And don't even get me started on smiling. Smiling feels like a workout. It's like trying to flex a muscle you didn't even know you had – cheek aerobics, the newest fitness trend. You're just there, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, hoping your face returns to its normal size before your next family photo.
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You know, they say that after mouth surgery, you're not supposed to talk too much. It's like a built-in excuse for introverts. "Sorry, can't chat, just had oral surgery." It's the perfect escape plan. You don't want to go to that family gathering? Bam! Get a tooth pulled, and suddenly, you're the wise sage who only speaks when absolutely necessary. But seriously, they give you all this wisdom about not talking too much. As if we're all running around with a secret stash of words that we're dying to unleash on the world. "Oh, you mean I shouldn't tell Karen from accounting what I really think about her cat sweater? Got it, Doc.
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