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You ever notice hillbillies have the most creative ways of repurposing things? I saw one guy turn an old washing machine into a hot tub. I asked him how he did it, and he said, "Well, first you gotta take out the clothes.
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Hillbillies are the only people who can turn a pickup truck into a family heirloom. "Son, this here truck's been in the family for three generations. Passed down from father to son, just like our ability to fix anything with duct tape.
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I visited a hillbilly wedding recently. Instead of the traditional "I do," the couple exchanged vows like, "I reckon so" and "Yep, sure thing." It's the only ceremony where the bride's bouquet is made entirely of camouflage.
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You know you're in a hillbilly neighborhood when you see a fancy dinner table with a centerpiece made entirely of shotgun shells. It's like Martha Stewart meets Duck Dynasty.
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In hillbilly land, "fine dining" means eating chili dogs with a fork. It's all about keeping it classy.
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Hillbilly technology is on a whole other level. They have GPS, but it stands for "Go Past the Silo." If you hit the silo, you've gone too far.
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I went to a hillbilly barbershop, and the barber asked, "How would you like your haircut?" I said, "Just a little off the top." He replied, "Sure thing," and handed me a chainsaw.
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Hillbillies are the only people who have a recipe for moonshine in their family cookbook. "Grandma's Apple Pie Moonshine: Just like regular apple pie, but it'll also strip paint off your barn.
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You know you're at a hillbilly comedy club when the punchline to every joke involves either a tractor or a fishing trip. It's like the two essential food groups of humor: corny and fishy.
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