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You ever notice how people always talk about having the high ground? Like, is there some secret handbook that says if you're uphill, you automatically win? I mean, I tried that at work once. Boss called me into his office, and I thought, "This is it! I'll take the high ground!" So, I climbed on top of the filing cabinet. Turns out, the high ground doesn't work in HR meetings. They just called security.
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We need a high ground manual because it seems like people throw that term around without really knowing what it means. My grandpa used to say, "Take the high ground, son!" So, I climbed a hill. He meant morally, apparently. Well, next time, be more specific, Grandpa! Now I'm just the guy known for doing interpretive dance on hilltops when life gets tough.
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So, my friend's always giving me advice, telling me to take the high ground in relationships. I tried it with my girlfriend. We were arguing, and I thought, "Alright, I'll take the high ground." I climbed onto the kitchen counter. You know what she said? "Get down from there, you're scaring the cat!" Turns out, the high ground doesn't solve romantic conflicts either. Now I'm just single and stuck with a scaredy-cat.
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I'm convinced life is just a series of battles for the high ground. Grocery store, traffic, family gatherings - everywhere you go, there's someone trying to claim the high ground. I tried it at the supermarket once. Granny was reaching for the last can of soup, and I thought, "Not today, Granny!" I climbed on the shopping cart. Let's just say, doing a balancing act on canned goods is not as heroic as it looks in the movies.
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