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I tried turning the tables once. Someone said, "Hey, guess what?" And I confidently replied, "You got a pet dinosaur!" Spoiler alert: they did not have a pet dinosaur. They had a hamster named Rex. Close enough, right?
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And then there's the suspenseful pause before they spill the beans. It's like waiting for a punchline, but the setup is your own anxiety. "Guess what? I forgot to buy milk." Really? That's what we're doing now? I was prepared for espionage-level secrets, not your dairy aisle drama.
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You ever notice it's never anything straightforward? It's never like, "Hey, guess what? I just found a dollar on the street." No, it's always a saga. It's like, "Hey, guess what? I accidentally joined a biker gang for 15 minutes today. Turns out, they just wanted directions to the nearest Whole Foods." And why do we even bother guessing? It's not like we're ever close. They might as well say, "Hey, guess what? I won the lottery, became a ninja, and discovered a cure for the common cold." And you're sitting there like, "Um, you got a new haircut?
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And why is it always "hey, guess what"? Can't we mix it up a bit? Spice things up with a "Yo, check this out" or a "Hold onto your socks"? Nah, it's forever going to be the underwhelming "hey, guess what." Maybe one day someone will throw a curveball and go with "hey, guess why." That would really mess with our heads.
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