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Why do dishwashers have that one utensil that always comes out unwashed? I swear, there's a secret society of spoons in there plotting their escape, and the dishwasher is their version of Alcatraz.
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The person who designed the packaging for USB cables must have a wicked sense of humor. It's like playing a high-stakes game of "Guess which side is up" every time. I feel like I need a degree in cableology to make it work.
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Why do elevator doors have to announce they're closing? It's not like we're going to jump in at the last second like action heroes. "Hold the elevator!" - said no one ever.
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My smartphone has become my personal assistant, or as I like to call it, my "helper with an attitude." I ask it to set an alarm, and it responds like, "Sure, but do I look like your mom? You can't wake up on your own?
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The self-checkout at the grocery store is like a pop quiz on my knowledge of produce. "Please place the item in the bagging area." Oh, sorry, I didn't realize my avocado needed to be bagged like it's heading to the Bahamas.
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You know you're an adult when getting a new sponge for the kitchen brings you an unusual amount of joy. It's like, "Look at this beauty! We're going to scrub away the past together, my friend.
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You ever notice how the helper in your GPS sounds so calm and collected? Like, it's telling you to turn left in 500 feet with the same enthusiasm as if it's reminding you to pick up milk at the grocery store. "In 500 feet, turn left. Also, don't forget eggs.
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Can we talk about how the snooze button on alarm clocks is just a trap? You think you're getting an extra 10 minutes of sleep, but in reality, you're entering a time vortex where you lose all sense of responsibility.
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The unsung hero of every office is the person who brings in homemade cookies. Forget Employee of the Month; give that person a Nobel Prize. "For outstanding contributions to workplace morale through the power of chocolate chips.
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