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So, my ghostwriter sends me a note that just says, "Happy Mother's Day," and I'm thinking, this guy's got some nerve. I mean, he doesn't even have a mom! Ghostwriters don't have mothers; they have ghostmothers. I imagine ghostmother's day is just a bunch of ghosts getting together and scaring each other. But you know, I have to give it to him. He's really committed to his craft. I asked him if he celebrates other holidays too, and he said, "Of course! I'm working on a Halloween card for you already." I told him, "Buddy, Halloween is my favorite holiday. I don't need a card; I need a ghost costume upgrade!"
And then he said, "I'm also thinking about a Thanksgiving card." I said, "What's it going to say? 'Gobble till you wobble, even if you're a spirit?'" I tell you, having a ghostwriter is like having a supernatural personal assistant.
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So, I got this note from my ghostwriter that said, "Happy Mother's Day," and it got me thinking. I wonder if ghosts have motherly advice. You know, like, "Don't haunt on an empty stomach" or "If you're going to rattle chains, do it with style." I asked my ghostwriter for some advice, and he said, "Always leave a little mystery behind." I said, "Dude, you're a ghost. You're all mystery and no substance!" But then he got all serious and said, "No, seriously, never reveal all your secrets. It keeps people on their toes."
So, here's to all the ghost moms out there, giving spectral advice and keeping the afterlife interesting. And to my ghostwriter, if you're listening, thanks for the note. Next time, though, throw in a few ghost emojis or something, you know, to spice it up! Happy Mother's Day, everyone!
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I've been working with this ghostwriter, and let me tell you, he's got some serious issues. He sent me a note that just said, "Happy Mother's Day," and I thought, "Wow, profound." But then I realized he has a serious case of ghostwriter's block. I asked him, "Can't you come up with something more original?" He said, "Well, I tried, but every time I come up with a new idea, it just goes through me." And I thought, "Well, you are a ghost, that's kinda your thing, isn't it?"
I suggested, "How about a Mother's Day joke? Something like, 'Why did the ghost go to therapy? Because he had too many mommy issues!'" He didn't laugh. Tough crowd, these ghostwriters.
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You know, I recently got a note that just said, "Happy Mother's Day." And I thought, well, isn't that nice? But you see, it was from my ghostwriter. Yeah, apparently even ghosts are getting into the greeting card business. I mean, what's next? Haunted Hallmark? I can just imagine the slogans: "Wishing you a spooky Mother's Day, filled with ghostly love." But seriously, imagine if ghosts really did send Mother's Day cards. "Happy Mother's Day from the afterlife. I hope the kids are still afraid of the dark like I used to be."
And then there's the ghostwriter himself. I asked him, "Why did you choose 'Happy Mother's Day'?" He said, "Well, it's a universal topic. Everyone has a mother." I said, "Yeah, but not everyone has a ghostwriter!" So here's to all the moms out there, and the ghosts who appreciate them.
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