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Happier than a phone with 100% battery
The fleeting joy of a fully charged device in a world of constant battery anxiety
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I envy my phone when it's fully charged. It's sitting there, happy and carefree, while I'm constantly calculating if I can watch one more YouTube video without pushing it into the red zone. It's like my phone is on a beach vacation, and I'm stuck in a battery anxiety office cubicle.
Happier than a dog with a tennis ball
The struggle between joy and the heartbreak of a lost tennis ball
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Dogs and tennis balls are a lesson in impermanence. One moment, they're leaping for joy, fetching that ball with unbridled enthusiasm. The next moment, the ball rolls under the couch, and they're staring at you like, "Do something about it, magician. Make the ball reappear!
Happier than a kid with a lollipop
The battle between sugary ecstasy and the impending sugar crash
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I gave my niece a lollipop the other day, and for a moment, she was happier than a millionaire in a candy store. Then, as the sugar high hit its peak, she looked at me and said, "I think I can see sounds." Welcome to the world of lollipop-induced synesthesia.
Happier than a plant in a greenhouse
The dilemma of thriving in the perfect environment vs. the fear of being relocated
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I wish I could be happier than a plant in a greenhouse, but then I remember they can't travel. They're stuck in one place, watching the world go by. Maybe that's why they're so green – they're jealous of the grass on the other side.
Happier than a cat with a laser pointer
The feline dilemma between joy and existential crisis
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Cats and laser pointers are a perfect metaphor for my love life. I'm the cat, and the elusive red dot is my ideal partner. I chase, I leap, I twist, and just when I think I've got it, it vanishes, leaving me in a state of existential confusion. At least the cat gets to take a nap afterward.
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