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The Confused Halfwit
Constant Misinterpretation
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I asked the halfwit for directions, and he said, "Turn left where the road divides." I'm still wandering around, wondering if he meant mathematically or existentially.
The Socially Oblivious Halfwit
Unawareness of Social Cues
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I asked him if he understood sarcasm, and he said, "Of course! It's like when people say the opposite of what they mean, right?" I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic about understanding sarcasm.
The Optimistic Halfwit
Ignoring Reality
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I told him he was a halfwit, and he said, "Well, I'm halfway to genius!" Now he's convinced he's the missing link between Einstein and the guy who invented the selfie stick.
The Selective Halfwit
Choosing Ignorance
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I told him ignorance is bliss, and he said, "Well, I'm the happiest person alive!" He's also the person most likely to accidentally walk into a pole while staring at his blissful ignorance.
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