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Ever notice how greeters always seem so cheerful? I think they've mastered the art of smiling through the pain. "Yes, Karen, I'm ecstatic to be standing here in a polyester vest, saying hello to people for eight hours straight.
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Why is it that when you try to avoid eye contact with a greeter, it's as if they have a sixth sense for it? They lock eyes with you from across the entrance, and suddenly, you're committed to the entire greeting process.
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I appreciate the positive vibes, but can we agree that the greeter's "Have a great day!" is more of a challenge than a wish? Like, now I feel pressured to make the rest of my day spectacular just to live up to their expectations.
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Why do they call them "greeters" anyway? It's like they want to soften the blow of getting hit by a shopping cart. "Sure, I might have given you a bruise, but didn't I greet you nicely?
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I was at the store the other day, and the greeter said, "Welcome! Find everything okay?" I wanted to reply, "Well, not anymore. You just made me doubt my entire shopping list. Is toilet paper really all I need?
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You ever notice how the term "greeter" sounds like a friendly job title, but in reality, it's just someone blocking your way at the store, armed with a shopping cart and a smile, ready to throw off your entire game plan?
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I appreciate the enthusiasm, but can we talk about the awkwardness when two greeters are stationed next to each other? It's like a greeting showdown. Do I high-five both of you or pretend I didn't see either?
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I was once greeted by a greeter who looked like they just ran a marathon. Sweating, out of breath, and still managed to chirp, "Welcome!" I thought, "Is shopping here an extreme sport I didn't know about?
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You ever accidentally walk past the greeter without noticing, and then you spend the entire shopping trip avoiding that entrance because you're afraid they'll confront you with, "Didn't see you come in, but I hope you have a fantastic day!"? It's like greeting PTSD.
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