18 Jokes For Grapevine

Puns

Updated on: Apr 29 2025

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What do you get when you cross a grape with a lion? A grape that roars!
Why did the grape become a detective? It had a keen sense of 'vine'stigation!
Why did the grape refuse to play cards? It was afraid of getting into a jam!
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!
What's a grape's favorite game? Squash!
Why did the grape apply for a job? It wanted to be promoted to 'raisin' in the ranks!
What do you call a grape that can sing? Elvis Parsley!
How do grapes feel when they're stomped on? Crushed!
The Grapevine - It's like the original social media, but with way more antioxidants. My grandma was the ultimate influencer; she knew all the grapevine gossip, and her arthritis acted up when she sensed drama.
The grapevine has a better memory than my phone. I once mentioned I liked avocados, and now every time I pass by, it's like, 'Hey, avocado lover!' I feel seen and judged by a plant.
The grapevine is the reason my plants have a better social life than I do. I catch them exchanging stories like, 'Oh, your owner waters you daily? Must be nice. Mine forgets I exist for weeks.'
I discovered a new grapevine feature – selective hearing. I spilled my heart out to it, and it only spread the parts that made me look bad. Now the tulips won't make eye contact.
If the grapevine could talk, it would spill more tea than a reality show. I imagine it would be like, 'Did you hear about the rosebush and the daffodil? Drama! They're not photosynthesizing together anymore!'
I asked my doctor if grapevines are good for health. He said, 'Physically, no. Mentally, absolutely.' Apparently, eavesdropping on plants is the new mindfulness technique.
I tried to start my own grapevine, but all I got were weird looks at the supermarket. Apparently, whispering in the produce aisle isn't the same as spreading juicy gossip. Who knew?
Grapevines are like the town criers of nature. I overheard a vine once saying, 'You won't believe what happened in the garden last night.' I was expecting a scandal, but it was just a rabbit eating carrots. Talk about an anticlimax.
I told my problems to the grapevine, thinking it would help me feel better. Now, every time I walk by, the vines seem to be judging me. I didn't know flora could be so judgmental!
You ever notice how the grapevine works faster than your Wi-Fi? I told my friend a secret, and by the time I finished, the entire neighborhood knew. I can't even get a text message to send, but the grapevine has gigabit speeds.

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