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Joke Types
The Optimistic Ex
Trying to find the silver lining in getting dumped
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My ex told me I deserve someone better. Well, I've upgraded to someone "better" – Better at leaving the toilet seat down and not finishing the last slice of pizza.
The Foodie Ex
Comparing relationships to different types of food
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Getting dumped is like ordering a pizza. You wait excitedly, and when it arrives, you realize it's not what you expected, and you're left alone with way too much emotional baggage.
The Amateur Psychologist Ex
Analyzing the breakup through amateur psychology
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They say time heals all wounds. Well, my ex must be a time traveler because they already seem to have healed and moved on while I'm stuck in this emotional Jurassic era.
The Fantasy Fiction Enthusiast Ex
Imagining the breakup as a plot twist in a fantasy novel
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My ex and I were like characters in a fantasy novel – great in theory, but when it came to the final chapter, they decided to become a spin-off series without me.
The Conspiracy Theorist Ex
Believing there's a grand conspiracy behind the breakup
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I found out my ex is part of a breakup Illuminati. They have a handbook titled "Breaking Hearts for Dummies," and I'm pretty sure my chapter was titled "Exit Strategies: Ghosting vs. the 'It's Complicated' Facebook Status.
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