17 Four Year Olds Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Apr 16 2025

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Why did the four-year-old become a gardener? Because he wanted to grow up and be a little 'planter'!
Why did the four-year-old take a nap under the car? Because he wanted to get up oily in the morning!
What do you call a four-year-old who can play the guitar? A kiddie-pickin' rockstar!
What do you call a four-year-old with a black belt? A kickin' ninja toddler!
What do you call a four-year-old detective? Inspector Giggles!
What did the four-year-old say to the vegetable garden? Lettuce turnip the beet!
What's a four-year-old's favorite game at the bakery? Pin the doughnut on the bakery!

Secret Agents at Bath Time

Bathing a four-year-old is like dealing with a secret agent. You have to be stealthy, quick, and equipped with the latest rubber duck surveillance technology. And no matter how covert your approach, they always manage to escape with a trail of water leading to their top-secret hideout – the living room.

The Question Avalanche

Four-year-olds are relentless interrogators. They fire questions at you like a machine gun. Why is the grass green? Why do dogs bark? Why can't I have ice cream for breakfast? I sometimes feel like a contestant on a rapid-fire quiz show, desperately trying to Google answers in real-time.

Time Warp Tantrums

Ever experience the time warp that occurs during a four-year-old tantrum? Two minutes feel like an eternity, and you start questioning the fabric of space-time. They cry over the color of their juice cup or the fact that gravity exists. I just stand there, mentally calculating the years I've aged in the last five minutes.

Bedtime Stories Gone Rogue

Four-year-olds have a way of turning bedtime stories into unexpected plot twists. You start reading about a friendly dragon, and suddenly, the dragon wants to open a taco stand in space. I never knew Grimm's Fairy Tales had a chapter on intergalactic cuisine.

Four-Year-Old Wisdom

You ever try arguing with a four-year-old? It's like engaging in a battle of wits with a tiny, irrational philosopher. They hit you with profound statements like, Why is the sky blue? and then follow it up with, Can I have a cookie for breakfast? It's a mental gymnastics routine, and I'm just trying not to pull a brain muscle.

Bedtime Negotiations

Bedtime negotiations with a four-year-old are like a high-stakes poker game. They come to you with all the aces up their sleeve, like, I need a glass of water, I can't sleep without my favorite stuffed animal, and my personal favorite, I think I heard a monster under the bed. Forget Las Vegas, the real gambling happens in a toddler's bedroom.

Eating Drama

Mealtime with a four-year-old is a live performance. They have the dramatic flair of Shakespearean actors when faced with a plate of broccoli. I tried convincing one that veggies are the secret to superpowers, and they retorted with, Well, I'd rather be a regular person. Touché, tiny thespian, touché.

Fashion Consultants

Four-year-olds have a unique sense of fashion. To them, mismatched socks, superhero capes, and rain boots are the height of sartorial elegance. I tried getting fashion advice from one once, and they told me, You'd look better if your shoes had wheels. Well, sorry, kid, I've got places to be that don't involve rolling through life.

Tiny Negotiators

Four-year-olds are natural-born negotiators. They can turn a simple request for a snack into a complex diplomatic mission. If I eat all my carrots, can I have chocolate for dinner? It's like dealing with miniature UN diplomats, armed with an arsenal of cute smiles and strategic negotiations.

Art Critics in Training

Four-year-olds are the harshest art critics. I showed one a finger painting I did, expecting praise, and they said, Is this a giraffe or a spaghetti monster? I realized Picasso had nothing on their discerning eye. I've been reevaluating my artistic career ever since.

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