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I think there should be a support group for people dealing with flaky friends. We can call it "Flakes Anonymous." Hi, my name is [Your Name], and I'm a victim of flakiness. The first step is admitting it, right? We could all sit in a circle and share our horror stories. "Last week, I made plans with my flaky friend, and they texted me saying, 'Sorry, I can't make it. My horoscope said it's a bad day for commitment.' Can you believe that?"
I'd love to see the twelve steps of recovery from flakiness – Step 1: Admit you have a problem. Step 2: Actually show up for once.
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I've realized that making plans with my flaky friends is a lot like checking the weather forecast. You look at the app, it says sunny with a chance of commitment issues. There's always that unpredictable element – will they show up, or will they vanish into thin air like they're part of some weird magician act? I tried to get creative with it. I asked my flaky friend, "Can we schedule a Zoom call?" You know, just to practice the art of showing up somewhere. But even on Zoom, they managed to pull a disappearing act. I swear, I had better chances of finding Waldo in a snowstorm.
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I've come to the conclusion that if flakiness were an Olympic sport, my friends would be gold medalists. I can already picture the event – synchronized canceling, the 100-meter excuse dash, and of course, the grand finale, the marathon of last-minute bailouts. I tried to train them, you know, give them a pep talk like, "Come on, guys, we can do this. Let's aim for a personal best in actually following through." But nope, they're committed to their uncommitted lifestyle.
I'm thinking of designing a trophy for them – a golden statue of someone shrugging with a speech bubble that says, "Maybe next time." Because, in the world of flaky friends, there's always a 'next time' that never actually comes.
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You ever have those friends who are just as reliable as a chocolate teapot? I call them the Flakes. You make plans with them, and you might as well be scheduling a meeting with Bigfoot because it's just not happening. You're there waiting for them, staring at your phone, and suddenly you feel like the star of your own personal episode of "Survivor: Cancelation Island." And don't get me started on the excuses they come up with – "Oh, I can't make it, my goldfish is feeling a bit down today." Seriously? Your goldfish?
I've started sending out Save the Date cards for when I plan to hang out with my flaky friends. Might as well make it a formal event. "You are invited to the Annual Gathering of Broken Promises – RSVP by never.
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