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The Reluctant Graduate
Not wanting to leave the safety of elementary school
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My parents were so proud of my graduation, they gave me a big hug and said, "You're growing up so fast!" I replied, "Yeah, but can I go back to nap time and finger painting?
Nostalgic Teacher
Dealing with the realization that the kids you taught are all grown up
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I congratulated one of my former students, and they proudly announced they were going to middle school. I tried to sound excited and said, "Middle school is great! You get lockers and everything!" Inside, I was thinking, "Good luck remembering that locker combination. I still can't remember mine from 1995.
Overachieving Parent
Trying to outdo other parents at the fifth-grade graduation
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I was so determined to have the most extravagant graduation party that I hired a famous chef to cook for us. He asked, "What kind of food do the kids like?" I said, "Well, they're into pizza and chicken nuggets." He ended up creating a gourmet pizza with a chicken nugget crust. Let's just say, it wasn't a hit.
The Clueless Relative
Trying to understand the significance of a fifth-grade graduation
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I saw kids throwing their caps in the air, and I turned to my brother-in-law and said, "Is this a prelude to the real graduation or something? When do they actually finish school?
The Procrastinator Parent
Realizing they haven't planned anything for their child's fifth-grade graduation
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I heard other parents talking about personalized graduation gifts. I panicked and ordered a custom-made pencil with my kid's name on it. The delivery guy looked at me like, "Really? A pencil?" I just hope my kid likes it more than I do.
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