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Joke Types
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Why did my ex-husband become a tailor? He was always good at stitching together excuses!
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Why did my ex-husband start a landscaping business? Because he's an expert at trimming things!
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Why did my ex-husband take up painting? He wanted to learn how to cover his tracks!
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Why did my ex-husband take up photography? He wanted to focus on a new negative!
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Why did my ex-husband become a chef? He always liked turning up the heat and then bailing out!
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Why did my ex-husband take up archery? He heard it was the best way to draw a line!
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Why did my ex-husband start a gardening club? He wanted to learn how to handle roots!
Ex Appeal
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You know how they say 'love is blind'? Well, so is denial. My ex had an appeal that could charm anyone... until they got to know him. Then they needed sunglasses to shield themselves from the blinding realization.
Till Debt Do Us Part
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They say in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer... well, my ex-husband and I mastered the 'poorer' part. Turns out, marriage vows should include a line about financial compatibility.
Ex Marks the Spot
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You know, they say hindsight is 20/20, but with my ex-husband, it's more like hindsight is a horror movie sequel. You watch it, you cringe, and you wonder how it got made.
The Ex-Files
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If my life were a movie, it'd be titled The Ex-Files: When Relationships Go Supernaturally Wrong. Think aliens, conspiracies, and a whole lot of unexplainable phenomena. Yeah, that's my divorce.
Ex-husband: The Comedy of Errors
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Ever seen a comedy of errors? That was my marriage. It's like we were both playing different games, in different languages, with different rules, and somehow expecting to end up with the same happy ending.
Marriage: A Crash Course in Survival
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My ex-husband and I were like contestants on a reality show called Surviving Marriage. Spoiler alert: we didn’t win. In fact, we were the first ones voted off the island... and it was a relief!
The Exorcism of Emotional Baggage
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Divorcing my ex was like an exorcism of emotional baggage. You know, the kind where you call in the professionals, they bring out the holy water, and you hope to banish all the demons of bad decisions.
Marriage: The Haunted House Experience
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Being married to my ex was like living in a haunted house. You know, full of unexpected scares, things that go bump in the night, and plenty of unresolved issues that just won't stay buried.
The Ex Factor
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They say everyone has an ex for a reason. Well, my ex was the reason I now believe in reasons! That guy was a masterclass in teaching me what not to look for in a partner.
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