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You know, I've got a lot of respect for English teachers. They're the unsung heroes of the grammar world. But you ever notice how they always seem to have this unspoken competition going on among themselves? It's like a battle of the red pens! One teacher says, "My students wrote the most creative short stories," and the other one's like, "Well, my students aced the grammar quiz!" I swear, they're secretly measuring success in the number of grammar mistakes they can spot in a text message. And they never let go of their favorite phrase: "I before E except after C." Yeah, it's a rule until you realize there are more exceptions than words that follow it! But hey, kudos to them for trying to tame the chaos of the English language.
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English teachers are the reigning champions of the spell check wars. They spot a misplaced apostrophe from across the room like it's a neon sign flashing "error!" They live for those moments when they catch you mixing up 'there,' 'their,' and 'they’re.' It's like a victory dance every time they correct someone. And don't even think about using a comma splice; that's their kryptonite! But let me tell you, behind those red-marking exteriors, I'm convinced they secretly have nightmares about misspelling a word on the board in front of their class. That's their equivalent of showing up in public without pants!
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English teachers, they're the real-life grammar police, aren't they? You could be having a casual conversation, minding your own business, and suddenly they pop out of nowhere like, "Actually, it's 'whom,' not 'who.'" They're like the superheroes of correcting language, saving us from the perils of dangling participles and split infinitives. But have you noticed how they never seem to turn off that grammar mode? You could be at a party, trying to tell a joke, and they're there, analyzing your punchline like, "The subject-verb agreement was off." I'm just waiting for the day they start carrying red pens everywhere, marking up restaurant menus and street signs. I can see it now: "Sorry, sir, this 'Stop' sign should really be a semicolon; it's a pause, not a full stop!
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Have you ever had that English teacher who's more obsessed with finding hidden meanings in literature than you finding your car keys? They're like, "The blue curtains in this story symbolize the protagonist's melancholy." And you're sitting there thinking, "Maybe they just liked blue curtains!" They dissect every sentence like it's a crime scene, pulling apart metaphors and symbolism until even the author would be like, "I didn't even realize I put that much thought into it!" And don't get me started on Shakespeare. I think half the time they're making stuff up, and we're just nodding along because, well, it's Shakespeare! "To be or not to be" — and English teachers are like, "That's the question," but can we talk about something a little less existential for a change?
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