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English teachers have this unique ability to make you feel guilty about not reading the classics. I swear, every time I walk by a bookstore, I can hear Jane Austen whispering, "You've disappointed your English teacher again.
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English teachers have a secret power – they can turn any movie into a Shakespearean tragedy. Watch "The Lion King" with an English teacher, and suddenly it becomes "Romeo and Juliet with fur.
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You ever notice how English teachers have a way of making grammar sound like a life-or-death situation? "Your misplaced comma just murdered the clarity of this sentence!" I didn't know my punctuation had such homicidal tendencies.
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English teachers love to ask, "What do you think the author meant by this?" I'm over here just trying to figure out what I meant when I wrote my own essay. My meaning was lost somewhere between procrastination and panic.
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English teachers have this magical ability to spot a Wikipedia-based essay from a mile away. It's like they have a sixth sense for the overly sophisticated vocabulary that no high schooler would ever use in real life.
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English teachers always act surprised when they catch you with a thesaurus. Like, come on, it's not a forbidden ancient artifact. I just want my essay to sound like a thesaurus wrote it, is that too much to ask?
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You know you're dealing with an English teacher when the worst insult they can think of is, "Your writing lacks voice." I didn't realize my essay was auditioning for "The Voice." I just wanted an A, not a record deal!
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You know you've got a serious English teacher when they start correcting your text messages. I sent a casual "lol" and got back a red pen emoji with a note saying, "Use complete words. Laughing out loud, please.
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Ever get the feeling that English teachers secretly enjoy our struggles with Shakespearean language? They're probably in the back, sipping tea, and chuckling at our attempts to decode sentences that even Google Translate refuses to touch.
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Have you ever noticed how English teachers can find symbolism in anything? I spilled coffee on my notebook, and my teacher said, "Ah, the brown liquid represents the uncertainties in your life, and the ring it left signifies your struggles." I just thought I needed a better lid.
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