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Emo IT Guy
When your computer crashes, and you're not sure if it's a technical issue or a reflection of your emotional state.
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My emo IT guy told me to restart my computer. I did, but now it won't stop playing sad music every time I open a program.
Emo Fitness Instructor
Trying to find the motivation to lift weights heavier than the weight of my emotional baggage.
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Went to an emo gym and asked the trainer about cardio. He said, "Just run away from your problems. It's the only marathon you'll ever finish.
Emo Astronomer
When you're staring at the stars, wondering if they feel as alone as you do.
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Tried to impress an emo astronomer by naming constellations. He said, "That one's Heartbreak Major, and over there is the Black Hole of Rejected Tinder Matches.
Emo Chef
Cooking with ingredients as dark as your thoughts.
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Tried an emo chef's dish. It was so salty; I asked him what he put in it. He said, "Oh, just the tears of my unfulfilled dreams.
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