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Joke Types
The Confused Surfer
When you can't tell if it's a dude with dreads or an octopus trying to fit in.
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You ever see a guy with dreads on a surfboard? It's like he's part of some secret society. I tried to join in once, but the ocean rejected me faster than my high school crush.
The Time Traveler
When their dreads look like they've time-traveled from the '70s, and yours look like they've been stuck in a time loop from the '90s.
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Dudes with dreads have mastered the art of timeless hair. Meanwhile, my hair is like a relic from a forgotten era. I'm not saying I need a time machine, but a hairdryer that works would be a good start.
The Hair Envy Dude
When your hair looks like a tumbleweed, and theirs looks like a tropical rainforest.
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I tried growing dreads once. It looked less like Bob Marley and more like Bob from accounting trying to find his desk in the morning. My dreads had commitment issues; they were more like "situationally attached strands.
The Hair Nomad
When you can't decide if they have dreads or if a family of birds just set up a commune on their head.
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Trying to get my hair to cooperate is like herding cats. Meanwhile, dudes with dreads look like they have a personal stylist in the form of a zen master with a tiny rake.
The Hat Collector
When your hat collection is more extensive than their dread collection.
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I asked him, "How many hats do you have?" He said, "Enough to cover every bad hair day for the next decade." Meanwhile, I'm just hoping to find a hat that says, "I have my life together, but my hair doesn't.
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