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You know you're getting older when even the potted plants in your house are giving you unsolicited advice: "Hey, if you watered me a day earlier, maybe I wouldn't have to droop and make a scene!
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I've come to the conclusion that plants have a secret club where they discuss their drooping tactics. "Gary, you're up next. Show them the classic droop-and-revive move.
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You ever notice how plants in your house start off all perky and full of life, but by the end of the week, they're just doing their best impression of a teenager who's been asked to clean their room? "Sorry, Mom, I'm just gonna... droop here for a bit.
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I once thought about getting a cactus because I heard they're low maintenance. But then I realized even a cactus can't escape the occasional existential crisis droop.
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I tried talking to my plants to boost their morale. Now, they droop not because they're thirsty, but because they're embarrassed by my terrible plant-related puns.
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My houseplants have started forming support groups. I walked in on one whispering, "Stay strong, Brenda. Don't let the droop get you down.
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Ever notice how plants seem to have the worst timing? Right when you have guests over and you're trying to show off your adulting skills, your plant's just like, "Oh, you're busy? Perfect time for me to droop dramatically!
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You ever feel like your plants are silently judging you? Like they droop as if to say, "Oh, another takeout night, huh? You're not just letting me down; you're letting yourself droop.
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You know you've neglected your plant when it starts looking like it's auditioning for a role in a melodramatic soap opera. "I've been mistreated, underfed, and now I shall... droop!
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