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You ever hear someone say something and it takes you a second to realize they just played you with a pun? I had a friend recently who texted me, "Dixie wrecked." I stared at that message for a good minute, thinking, "Who's Dixie, and why is she in a wreck?" Turns out, my friend was just messing with me. "Dixie Wrecked" sounds a lot like, well, you get it. I told him, "Man, you almost gave me a heart attack thinking Dixie's out there crashing cars!
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You know, I've started to wonder if there's a secret society of people named Dixie who are intentionally wrecking things just to mess with us. I mean, it can't be a coincidence that I keep hearing about Dixie wrecking stuff. Maybe they have a secret handshake or a newsletter where they plan their next move. I'm starting to feel like I'm caught in the middle of some Dixie conspiracy, and I don't know whether to be scared or impressed.
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So, I'm at a party, and this guy comes up to me and goes, "Hey, have you heard about the Dixie wrecked?" I'm like, "What? Again? How many times is Dixie wrecking stuff?" It turns out he was just trying to mess with me, too. But now, I've started a new game. Every time someone mentions Dixie, I act all concerned, like, "Oh no, not again! What did she wreck this time, the grocery store or the movie theater?" I'm turning Dixie into an urban legend of destruction.
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I've decided to create a whole saga about Dixie and her misadventures. Like, imagine a superhero movie, but instead of saving the day, Dixie just wrecks everything. I can see the trailer now: "In a world where one woman can't catch a break, Dixie wrecks havoc wherever she goes. Coming soon to a theater near you: 'Dixie Wrecked: The Unstoppable Chaos!'
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