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Joke Types
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I used to be a baker, but I had to quit. There were just too many layers of liability in the dough!
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Why did the lawyer have a disclaimer on his business card? He wanted to cover all his legal briefs!
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Why did the circus include a disclaimer? Because the lion tamer couldn't guarantee the lions wouldn't show their 'mane' emotions!
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Why did the singer have a disclaimer on stage? Because hitting those high notes was a 'pitch' precarious!
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Why did the comedian include a disclaimer in his stand-up routine? He wanted to make sure it was a 'laugh at your own risk' situation!
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Why did the gardener include a disclaimer in his plant care guide? To warn against any 'thorny' issues!
Life's Disclaimer
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Life needs a disclaimer, you know? Like, Warning: adulthood may cause unexpected bills, excessive coffee consumption, and a strong desire to nap at inappropriate times. Proceed with caution. I wish someone had handed me a disclaimer the day I graduated high school.
Dating Disclaimers
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Dating apps should have disclaimers too. Like, Swipe left if you can't differentiate between 'you're' and 'your.' And how about, Warning: may contain unexpected dad jokes and excessive use of pizza emojis. I mean, we need to set realistic expectations here.
The Disclaimer of Life
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You know, life should just have one big disclaimer. Warning: unpredictable plot twists ahead. May contain laughter, tears, and unexpected dance parties. Proceed with a good sense of humor, and remember, no refunds!
Parenting Disclaimer
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Parenting needs a disclaimer too. Caution: may cause sleep deprivation, loss of personal space, and an intimate knowledge of children's cartoons. Side effects may include singing 'Baby Shark' in public without shame.
Cooking Disclaimers
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Cooking should definitely come with a disclaimer. Warning: recipe may look easy, but execution may lead to a smoke-filled kitchen, emergency pizza delivery, and existential questions about your culinary skills.
Pet Ownership Disclaimer
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Having a pet comes with its own disclaimer. Caution: may lead to unconditional love, excessive fur on clothes, and a sudden proficiency in baby talk. Side effects may include losing arguments to a four-legged friend.
Social Media Disclaimers
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Ever notice how everything on social media comes with a disclaimer these days? The views expressed here are my own, they say. Well, duh! Whose views did you think they were, my neighbor's cat? I need a disclaimer for my cat's opinions now.
Workplace Disclaimers
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Workplace disclaimers are the best. Disclaimer: attending this meeting may induce spontaneous eye-rolling and an intense desire to escape through the window. Can we just have a disclaimer to skip the meeting altogether?
Gym Disclaimer
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The gym needs a disclaimer for real. Warning: entering this zone may result in muscle soreness, questionable fashion choices, and the occasional fear of accidentally dropping weights on your foot. Proceed with stretchy pants.
Disclaimer Dos and Don'ts
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You know, I recently read this thing called a disclaimer. It's like a legal seatbelt. I mean, if I'm about to do something that requires a disclaimer, I'm probably already halfway to regret-ville. It's like they're saying, Warning: you're entering the danger zone. May cause sudden urges to facepalm.
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