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Why did the dictator start a bakery? He kneaded the dough and rose to power!
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What's a dictator's favorite game? Monopoly – because it's all about taking over territories!
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What's a dictator's favorite board game? Chess, because he gets to control all the pawns!
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Why did the dictator become a gardener? Because he wanted to rule the tulips!
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Why did the dictator enroll in art school? He wanted to master the art of 'brushing' off criticism!
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Why did the dictator start a podcast? He wanted to rule the airwaves with his absolute opinions!
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Dictators are like bad exes, they're always trying to control everything! I mean, at least my ex didn't have a secret police force.
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I read that some dictators ban laughter. Imagine living in a place where knock-knock jokes are considered a subversive act. 'Who's there?' 'Nobody, comrade, just checking if you're loyal.'
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Dictators love censorship. I tried censoring my friend's bad jokes once. He said, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' I said, 'Sorry, that information is classified.' Now he just crosses the road in silence.
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Dictators are all about loyalty. I asked my cat if he was loyal, and he just knocked a glass off the table. I guess that was his way of saying, 'No, but I'm committed to chaos.'
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Dictators have palaces. I tried turning my apartment into a palace once. My landlord wasn't thrilled when I sent him a bill for 'royal renovations.' Apparently, gold leaf on the bathroom tiles is not a standard upgrade.
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Dictators always have elaborate titles. I asked my friends to start addressing me as 'Supreme Overlord of the Couch.' Now I just need to figure out how to make them bow every time they enter the living room.
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Dictators love grand entrances. I tried that at a friend's wedding once, walked in like I owned the place. The bride was not amused, and neither was the guy actually paying for the venue.
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Dictators love parades. I organized a parade in my neighborhood, complete with a marching band and confetti. Turns out, people don't appreciate a 'Monday Morning Motivation Parade' when they're just trying to get to work.
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I tried being a dictator in my own house once. My family wasn't on board. Apparently, 'mandatory family game night' is a violation of basic human rights.
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