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You know, we need to establish some ground rules for defenestration, like an etiquette guide. First off, if you're going to throw someone out of a window, at least make sure it's double-paned. Safety first, people! We're not savages. And what about the height? Is there a preferred floor for defenestration? I feel like the third floor is the sweet spot - high enough for drama, but not so high that you need binoculars to see the action.
Can you imagine someone attending a defenestration seminar? "Welcome, everyone, to Defenestration 101. Today, we'll cover proper grip, trajectory, and, of course, the importance of a good windup.
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Hey, everybody! So, my ghost writer recently introduced me to the term "defenestration." For those of you scratching your heads like I was, it's the act of throwing someone out of a window. Yeah, apparently, we needed a fancy word for that. I mean, who's sitting around going, "You know what the English language is missing? A really classy way to say 'I threw someone out the window.'" Can we talk about the audacity of having a term like this? I feel like it's a word you'd only use if you were a villain in a Shakespearean play. "I doth declare, in a fit of rage, I shall resort to defenestration!" Meanwhile, in the real world, it's just, "Get out, Jerry!"
Seems like a complicated way to describe what is essentially a high-stakes game of "Guess Who's Flying?
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I've been thinking about the moral dilemmas of defenestration. Like, what if you accidentally throw someone out the window, and they turn out to be your Uber Eats delivery person? Awkward! Or what if you're on the tenth floor, and you toss someone out, only to find out they're Spider-Man, and they swing back up like, "Nice try, buddy, but I've got web shooters."
Defenestration is a risky business, folks. It's like the ultimate game of "Whoops, my bad!" Maybe we should just stick to conventional arguments. It's less messy and has a lower chance of someone shouting, "Fly, my pretties!
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So, I'm thinking we should turn defenestration into a sport. I mean, it's got potential. Imagine the Defenestration Olympics - athletes from around the world competing to see who can toss someone out a window the farthest. We'd have judges holding up scorecards like, "Oh, a perfect 10 for form, but the landing was a bit shaky." And think about the training montages! You've got athletes doing squats with mannequins, practicing their throws with crash test dummies. Coaches yelling, "You call that a window toss? My grandma could throw better, and she's in a retirement home!"
It could be the next big thing. Move over, shot put and javelin. We're making room for the Window Launch!
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